Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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