Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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