I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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