similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
