I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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