the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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