So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize