I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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