I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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