google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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