Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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