every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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