Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
