sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
