No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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