well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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