I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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