Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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