its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize