I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
