Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
