i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
