They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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