So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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