So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
