Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
