I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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