Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
