i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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