I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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