Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize