so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize