Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
