yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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