peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
