I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
