covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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