This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
