her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize