what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
