FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
