It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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