I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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