I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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