We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
