i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I only lived at night.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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