I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
