dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
