I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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