that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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