Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
