She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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