so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
