cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize