Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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