The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
