Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
